Yes, pockets. Not to be confused with Pocky. Pockets, people.

Use 'em.

This rant goes out to the ladies. The ladies who never know if they've got their keys with them. Ladies who forget their wallets and money all over the place. Ladies who can't survive without their purse.

Pockets.

I know your pants have them. I've seen em! Sure, if you're doing the super-tight jeans thing, you might not be able to fit much in there. But they're good for more than just hooking your thumbs in. Slide a few bills or a card down there. Maybe a house key or two. Really, it'll be fine. You won't give the impression of growing a massive wallet-tumor on your hip, and you'll always be able to find your Metrocard.

Pockets!

They're the invention of the modern age, and it amazes me how many people never seem to use them. Whenever my dad and I go somewhere, he asks me if I have my keys. Of course I have my keys. They're in my pocket. They never leave my pocket, unless I'm unlocking something. When, once a fortnight, I change pants, my pocket contents move smoothly from one pair to the next. The cell phone leaves the pocket when I take off my pants, and goes right back in when I put them back on.

Pockets?

You betcha! I've got enough stuff in my pockets to start a small pawn shop. Some of the girls I know fault me for not wearing better looking jeans. Sorry ladies, I need big jeans so I can keep what I need in my pockets. Worst thing about wearing a suit? Not enough pockets!

On the table!

Poll time, everyone! We're at T-plus one year now from the launch of Notes, and I've earned myself a poll. So spit it out, what have you got in your pockets? Answer now, or behold my wrath!